Always ignore a ringing phone/doorbell. Let someone else answer it.
Make sure you spend your days off work doing something useful, such as playing on a games console for at least 4 hours.
If you do any household chores, only do one thing at a time, and be sure to mention it regularly to your partner over the next couple of days.
When doing the laundry, only wash one load per day, and only ever iron your own things. Also, don't bother using the dirty washing basket, the bedroom floor is just as good.
Always leave smelly trainers or football boots just inside the front door. isn't it hilarious when someone trips over them?
Don't bother trying to stand on the bath mat when you've had a shower, especially if you have laminate on the bathroom floor.
Don't offer to finish work early to take the kids to football practice-that's their mother's job
Follow these rules, and your partner will put up with you (after all you pay the bills & take the rubbish out)
Do the opposite & she'll love you!
One that wouldn't fit on above:
Always keep up to date with the latest cricket or football scores by checking teletext regularly, particularly during the soaps.
Bet you ladies out there are really jealous that I bagged my husband before you did, as these are all things that he does!
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